Sitting outside on the patio of a South African restaurant, under a canopy of stars, I found myself in conversation with a published author named Tom. It was surreal. Just a year earlier, I had read his book and it had shifted the trajectory of my life and our church. That book pulled back the curtain on the HIV/AIDS crisis raging in a small country called Swaziland.

SOME BAD ADVICE

I remember summoning the courage and asking Tom, “So, let’s say I wanted to write a book. Where do I start?” He didn’t hesitate. “You need a platform. If you don’t have a platform, there’s no point writing a book.”

He wasn’t wrong, but those words set me back fifteen years.

Today, if someone asked me the same question, my answer would be very different. I’d say, 'Just write. Write what stirs your heart. Find your voice. Practice your craft. Write a story. Write a journal. Write a blog and share it with the world. Write. Write. Write.’

STUMBLING INTO WRITING

If anyone should have been voted Least Likely to Write…Anything! in high school, it was me. I wrestled my way through every Language Arts and English class. To this day, I’m not sure I could confidently explain the difference between an adverb, a conjunction, or a preposition.

But a few years ago, I set myself a challenge: to write a blog entry for every chapter of the Bible. All 1,189 of them. A blog a day without missing even one. By the end, I realized I was learning to write.

A LONG STORY

How I got to the moment where I typed the first sentence of what would become my first book is a long story. Let’s just say it involved a divine encounter, a vision that lasted all of 1.4 seconds. But that was all it took.

On February 7th, 2024, at 6:10 a.m., I sat down to type the first sentence. One sentence became another. Paragraphs followed. Suddenly, it was as if I had poked a hole in a dam, and words came rushing out faster than I could type.

I began waking at 4 a.m. just to write before heading off to work. Some nights, I stayed up until 1:30 am, my mind swirling with ideas that insisted on finding their way to the page. Six weeks later, I had written 40,000 words, and I thought I had a book.

A TRUSTED CONFIDANT

The book I had written grew out of a sermon series I’d taught called Relationship Hacks. Excited, I shared the manuscript with one of our church elders, someone I trusted who also happened to be a marketing specialist.

She was gracious but direct. “Who is this book written for?” she asked. I stumbled. “Well…everyone! Everyone has relationships. It’s for everyone!” She smiled, knowing she had some difficult news: “If it’s written for everyone, it’s written for no one. You need to narrow your focus.”

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD

I took some time off work, borrowed a cottage, and, if I’m honest, spent some time pacing and yelling at God. The thought of rewriting and reshaping everything I had written felt crushing. Too much work. Too big a challenge. And deep down, I felt I had no direction beyond what I had already written.

The full story is longer than I can share here, but at the cottage I encountered a few unexpected breakthroughs, and out of them, a vivid new construct began to take shape.

Over the next year, I persuaded Carolyn to join me on this writing journey, and together we slowly began building what would become The Relationship Rocket.

BUDGET CONSTRAINTS

Few people understand the true cost of writing and publishing a book.

On the surface, it looks glamorous. It sounds exciting, but the reality is, it’s a slog. Many assume authors have arrived, that they’re successful, or on a clear path to riches. The opposite is usually true.

And yet, if an author wants their book to stand out and be the best it can be, the time and financial investment can be staggering—easily running into the tens of thousands of dollars. Beyond the writing itself, there are multiple rounds of professional editing, custom cover design, interior layout and formatting, branding, website development, and social media setup, along with legal and business support, plus the ongoing costs of marketing.

To put it bluntly: you can pour a small fortune into bringing a book to life, and the odds of selling enough copies to recover even a fraction of that investment remain slim. We knew we had to find another way.

A LITTLE HELP FROM SOME FRIENDS

With a rough manuscript in hand, Carolyn and I first turned to our three adult-kid couples and asked if they’d help. All six eagerly joined the venture, taking on editing, design, administration, social media, newsletters, and web development.

Next, we approached the eight marriage mentor couples Carolyn works with at church, inviting them to serve as our “Test Pilots”, reading the manuscript and offering suggestions to make it better. Their feedback was invaluable.

A librarian and self-proclaimed book nerd from our church also heard about the project and volunteered as editor and proofreader. She meticulously went through the manuscript at least five times, catching every tiny detail.

SILENCING THE DOUBTS

Even with everyone’s support, there are few days when Carolyn or I aren’t haunted by doubts. The voices in our heads whisper relentlessly: “Who do you think you are, trying to write a book?” “You’re wasting your time and money.” “What makes you think anyone wants to read what you write?” “You’re in too deep and you are just going to end up embarrassing yourself.”

We’ve learned that the best way to silence those doubts is to push back with truth.

This venture is an act of obedience, not vanity.

We don’t need to make our money back; our goal is simply to know that something we wrote helped someone.

We will not let fear be our compass! Faith is, even when it leads us into the unknown. Our job is not to have it all figured out! The act of showing up each day is enough!

LAUNCHING IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

As someone who has written a book, you might think the hardest part is behind me. It’s not. Without a stubborn, strategic passion to get this book into the hands of couples who need encouragement, inspiration, teaching, fuel, or a spark, it will simply get lost, buried beneath the 2.8 million books published this year and the 50 million currently on Amazon.

So, the journey continues: from dreamer, to writer, to publisher, and now into the uncharted world of marketing.

What an adventure!

FUEL & SPARK

Q: Was there anything about this behind-the-scenes tour that surprised you?

Q: What adventure or pursuit has fear and doubt kept you from? What truth do you need to push back with?

Q: Are you someone who wants guarantees before you set out on a venture or someone who is committed to showing up every day, regardless?

Q: Maybe God isn’t calling you to write, but He’s calling you to something! Do you know what it is?

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