- This week we welcome guest contributor, Karen Hackman. Karen is a school teacher turned Financial Coach for Couples, helping people work through the chaos of money struggles to establish healthier money management in a ministry venture she calls Money & Marriage. Wayne is a pastor, leadership coach, and school chaplain. They are originally from the UK but are living and serving in Nakuru, Kenya.

Biblical stewardship isn't just a nice concept for Sunday sermons - it's the foundation that can transform your marriage, eliminate financial stress, and restore peace to your home.

This is the raw, honest story of how my husband (a pastor struggling with depression and debt) and I (a teacher at the time, who thought she had it all together) discovered that faithful money management isn't about perfection, it's about partnership, transparency and applying God's principles to real-life financial chaos.

If you're tired of wondering where your money went and ready to start telling it where to go, this step-by-step journey will show you exactly how biblical budgeting can work in your home, no matter how messy your starting point might be.

"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?" - Luke 14:28

The kitchen table had never felt so heavy with tension. My husband - a pastor who counseled others through their life struggles - sat across from me with papers scattered between us. Bank statements. Credit card bills. The full picture of our financial reality.

As a Christian couple, we knew we should be good stewards but biblical budgeting seemed like an impossible dream when we couldn't even balance our bank accounts.

I had always been careful with my teaching salary, tracking my spending and living within my means. But when we decided to finally have "the money conversation" as a married couple, I wasn't prepared for what I'd discover about his financial situation.

"How much do you think you owe on credit cards?" I asked gently.

He didn't have a clue.

As we went through statement after statement, I watched my husband - this man who shepherded others with such wisdom - become smaller and smaller in his chair. The weight of financial shame was crushing him and I could see the depression that already struggled with beginning to spiral.

But in that painful moment, God was preparing us for a journey that would transform not just our bank account, but our understanding of Biblical stewardship, our marriage and our ministry.

When the Shepherd Needs Shepherding

"Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds." - Proverbs 27:23

My husband's heart for ministry was beautiful - and financially dangerous. People in our congregation would approach him with needs and his pastoral heart couldn't say no. A family needed groceries, a single mom couldn't make rent, a young man needed gas money and my generous husband would reach for his wallet every time.

Meanwhile, I felt like the "adult" in our financial relationship while he seemed like a child who couldn't see beyond the immediate need in front of him. The resentment was building, even as I recognized the beauty of his giving heart.

"We have to talk about supporting our own family first," I finally said during one particularly difficult conversation. "Before you can give others the life preserver, you have to put on your own oxygen mask."

It was hard for him to hear. As a pastor, shouldn't he be sacrificing for others? But slowly, through prayer and studying Scripture together, we began to understand that biblical stewardship means caring for the responsibilities God has given you before extending yourself to others.

"Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." - 1 Timothy 5:8

This wasn't about being selfish - it was about being faithful stewards of what God had entrusted to us, starting with our own family.

The Six Steps That Saved Our Finances (And Our Marriage)

Step 1: Count What God Has Actually Given You

"For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost?" - Luke 14:28

Just as the master in Jesus' parable gave specific amounts to each servant, we needed to know exactly what God had entrusted to our care. Not what we hoped to make or thought we deserved, but the actual dollars hitting our bank account each month.

Your first step: Calculate your true take-home pay. If income varies, average the last three months. You can't steward faithfully what you haven't accurately counted.

Step 2: Follow the Money Trail with Holy Curiosity

"Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds." - Proverbs 27:23

I challenged both of us to track every penny for one week. As an educator, I knew the power of data collection but I wasn't prepared for what we'd discover.

The week revealed small hemorrhages everywhere: taking people out for coffee, subscription services we'd forgotten about and impulse purchases that seemed harmless individually but devastating collectively.

But the biggest shock came when I examined his credit card statement with fresh eyes. Something felt wrong about the charges. When we investigated, we discovered someone had been making fraudulent charges for two years - $7.99 here, $3.99 there, even duplicate Amazon Prime memberships we never signed up for.

Those tiny monthly thefts had been adding to our debt burden without us realizing it. The credit card company reimbursed us, but it was a wake-up call: we had to pay attention to every detail.

Your tracking challenge: Record everything for seven days. Categorize spending into Kingdom Priorities (giving), Covenant Responsibilities (housing, utilities, food), Provision Needs (transportation, clothing), and Blessing Choices (entertainment, extras). You might discover unexpected leaks in your financial ship.

Step 3: Set Goals That Honor Both God and Family

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." - Proverbs 16:3

This was where our pastoral calling met practical stewardship. My husband needed to see that taking care of our family wasn't competing with ministry - it was part of ministry.

Our goals became:

• Immediate obedience (3 months): Build a $1,000 emergency fund so we'd stop using credit for surprises
• Breaking bondage (18 months): Eliminate credit card debt completely
• Generous giving (2 years): Increase our tithing from sporadic to systematic
• Future provision (5 years): Save for our daughter's education and our retirement

Your goal framework: Create specific, measurable objectives that honor God's call on your family. Remember, faithful stewardship of your household enables greater generosity toward others.

Step 4: Create a Plan That Puts First Things First

"The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty." - Proverbs 21:5

Here's where the rubber met the road. We had to allocate every dollar with the intentionality of Biblical stewards, not wishful spenders.

Our framework became:

• First Fruits (10%): Tithes and offerings came first, acknowledging God's ownership
• Family Covenant (55%): Housing, utilities, groceries, insurance - our primary stewardship
• Debt Freedom (20%): Aggressive payoff to break financial bondage
• Future Provision (10%): Emergency fund and savings
• Intentional Enjoyment (5%): Date nights and small pleasures, because joy matters too

The hardest part was helping my husband understand that saying "no" to ministry requests sometimes meant saying "yes" to faithful family stewardship.

Your budget priorities: Start with giving, cover essentials, attack debt systematically, build an emergency buffer, then allocate remaining funds intentionally.

Step 5: Walk in Daily Discipline Together

"Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." - Proverbs 25:28

This step required the most grace between us. My husband had to learn to pause before giving, and I had to learn patience as he developed new habits.

We created accountability systems:

• Any unbudgeted expense over $50 required a conversation
• Ministry giving came from a specific "benevolence" category we'd planned for
• We checked in weekly about spending decisions
• I stopped being the "financial police" and became his accountability partner

The breakthrough came when he started asking himself: "Does this expense honor God AND my family stewardship?" Sometimes the answer was yes for genuine ministry needs; often it was no for impulse generosity that exceeded our planned giving.

Your discipline strategy: Create mutual accountability, not unilateral control. Both spouses need ownership in the plan and permission to lovingly challenge spending decisions.

Step 6: Practice Monthly Stewardship Reviews

"The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps." - Proverbs 14:15

Every month, we spend 30 minutes reviewing our financial faithfulness together. This isn't about perfection, it's about progressive growth in stewardship.

Now we look at those statements with a close eye! That fraudulent spending experience taught us that faithful stewards pay attention to details.

Our monthly questions:

• Where did we succeed in faithful stewardship this month?
• Where did we fall short of our budget commitments?
• How did our spending reflect our values and faith?
• What adjustments will help us grow in faithfulness next month?

Your review rhythm: Schedule monthly financial dates. Celebrate progress, acknowledge setbacks without shame, and adjust your plan as life changes.

The Fruit of Faithful Stewardship

We're not perfect. We still make mistakes, still have months where unexpected expenses throw us off plan. But we're moving forward, making progress - and that's good enough. More importantly, we're moving in the right direction together.

My husband's confidence has grown as he's learned to steward well. His depression still affects him, but financial chaos no longer compounds it. Our marriage is stronger because we're unified around shared values and transparent accountability.

The most beautiful change? He can now give generously from a place of faithful stewardship rather than financial chaos. When genuine ministry opportunities arise, we can respond from our planned benevolence fund rather than from credit cards or bill money.

Why I Became a Finance Coach

Our journey from financial chaos to faithful stewardship didn't end with our own transformation, it ignited a passion in me to help others walk this same path.

As a teacher, I've always loved helping people learn and grow. But there's something uniquely powerful about financial coaching because I've been exactly where my clients are. I remember the shame, the frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed by numbers that never seemed to work out.

When I sit across from a client who's drowning in debt or a couple having their first honest money conversation, I don't just offer theory, I offer understanding. I've walked alongside dozens of clients now and I've watched their money stress literally melt away as they implement these Biblical principles.

Not every client succeeds - some aren't ready for the discipline required. But for those who work the plan, who commit to the accountability and transparency, the results are amazing. I've seen couples save their marriages, families break generational cycles of debt and believers discover the joy of generous giving for the first time.

There's nothing quite like watching someone's face when they realize they're finally in control of their money instead of their money controlling them. It's the same transformation we experienced, multiplied over and over again.

Your Journey Starts with One Honest Conversation

Whether you're a ministry family, teachers, or any couple trying to honor God with your resources, the journey begins the same way: with honest conversation about where you really are.

If you're the spouse who "has it together" financially, approach your partner with grace. If you're the one who's been avoiding the numbers, remember that faithful stewardship isn't about perfection - it's about growing in wisdom and accountability.

For ministry families especially: taking care of your household isn't competing with kingdom work - it's foundational to it. You can't pour from an empty cup, and you can't give what you don't have.

Start this week:

1. Have the honest conversation about all accounts and debts
2. Calculate your true monthly income together
3. Track spending for one week without judgment
4. Set one specific, achievable goal as a couple
5. Plan your next month's giving and spending before the month begins

Remember, *"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" *(Philippians 4:19). When you manage money according to God's principles, you position yourself to receive His blessing and become a blessing to others.

Ready to Transform Your Financial Story?

It's not about having perfect finances, it's about having faithful stewardship. And faithful stewardship? That's something any couple can achieve, one honest conversation and one budget category at a time. I know the journey can feel overwhelming. I remember staring at those credit card statements feeling like we'd never dig out. But if a depressed pastor and a overwhelmed teacher can transform their financial chaos into faithful stewardship, so can you.

If you're ready to stop wondering where your money went and start telling it where to go, I'd love to help you create and execute a plan that honors God and brings peace to your home.

I'm offering a free 15-minute call to anyone who's serious about taking their next step toward financial faithfulness. In our brief conversation, we'll identify your biggest financial challenge, clarify your most important goal and outline a simple first step you can take immediately.

There's no judgment here, no shame about where you're starting from. I'm genuinely interested in how you feel about your money situation and what dreams seem impossible right now. Maybe it's becoming debt-free, maybe it's giving generously, maybe it's buying your first home, or maybe it's simply making it through the month without overdraft fees. Whatever goals feel out of reach today, we'll explore how biblical stewardship principles can make them achievable.

This isn't about a sales pitch, it's about offering the same support and accountability that transformed our financial story. Because faithful stewardship is too important to navigate alone, and every family deserves to experience the peace that comes from managing money God's way.

Schedule your free 15-minute call here - your journey toward financial faithfulness starts with one conversation.

To contact Karen directly email [email protected]