Carolyn and I are incredibly proud of our three grown daughters and their husbands. They’re fun, smart, and highly committed to their marriages. One thing especially stands out: they keep dating each other with intention and energy.

Take our youngest, Carley.** Not long ago**, she planned a surprise birthday adventure for her husband, Cole. She found some budget airline tickets from Winnipeg to Vancouver, booked the trip, and set her plan in motion.

After they landed, Carley took Cole out for breakfast. Then she glanced at her phone and said, “Our Uber’s arriving! Let’s go!” Sure enough, a car pulled up. They hopped in.

As they drove out of the city, Cole got more and more uneasy. This was a long ride—and expensive. Plus, there were no Uber stickers, and their masked driver (hoodie up, Middle Eastern playlist blaring) looked like he was trying to avoid both conversation and COVID.

Fifty minutes in, as they neared the U.S. border, Cole was practically vibrating with nerves—but he kept quiet, not wanting to ruin his wife’s birthday surprise. That’s when Carley handed him the first of twelve romantic poems.

She recorded the moment. The video shows a confused but smiling Cole reading the clever rhymes—co-written by Carley and a rather poetic AI—about birthdays, adventures, Seattle… and his old friend Evan who lived there. At the exact line about Evan, the mystery driver pulled down his hood and took off his mask—it was Evan!

Cole nearly peed his pants with surprise and joy.

THE GOD WHO LOVES SURPRISES

Let’s rewind a few thousand years.

Around 550 BC, God spoke to a guy named Samuel. Here’s what He said: “Listen carefully. I’m getting ready to do something in Israel that is going to shake everyone up and get their attention (it will cause everyone’s ears to tingle).” — 1 Samuel 3:11

Now, full disclosure: what God was about to do was serious. It involved judgment on Eli’s family for mocking God. But the principle still shines through:

• God was planning something. •** It was new**. • It would shake things up. • It would grab attention. • It was extra-ordinary. • It would make ears tingle.

In other words—it was unexpected, surprising… anything but predictable. Isaiah 43:19 echoes this: “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

Apparently, God Himself is a fan of the didn’t-see-that-coming moment.

INTERRUPT YOURSELF!

Injecting surprise into your relationship doesn’t require plane tickets or poetry (though hey, bonus points if you go that route). It just takes a willingness to interrupt yourself.

Try this:

• Interrupt your busy day and send an encouraging text.

• Interrupt your movie choice and pick one your spouse actually likes.

• Interrupt your task list and write an old-school sticky note telling your spouse what you appreciate about them!

• Interrupt your routine. If your household routine is that the other person does the cooking or dishes, mix it up and have dinner ready for them when they come home!

• Interrupt your game—yes, even during a big play—and light a candle instead. Try a few questions from the Fuel & Spark questions on the Relationship Rocket site.

• Interrupt your budget mindset and take your spouse to a special place—without telling them beforehand.

• Interrupt your bedtime routine. Lose the flannel. Change the room. Change the mood. Get creative. Rock their world!

• Interrupt your predictability. It’s slowly killing your connection.

A POWERFUL REMINDER!

There’s a saying I once heard and never forgot: “A rut is just a grave with the ends kicked out.”

In other words, ‘ruts are where relationships go to die!’

If you want to spark some life into a relationship, stop being so darn predictable and create some ‘didn’t see that coming’ moments! them.

FUEL & SPARK

Q: When was the last time you genuinely surprised your spouse, and how did they respond? (If it’s been a while, why do you think that is?)

Q: What excuse or mindset tends to rob couples of creativity or spontaneity in their relationship? List as many as you can! Do you see any of these excuses at play in your marriage?

Q: What would it look like to "interrupt yourself" this week in a small but intentional way that honors and delights your spouse? (Brainstorm 2-3 realistic, doable options and make it your mission to pull them off!)