By guest contributors: By Andrew & Malaika Wells

Scripture Focus: “Let love be genuine. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” — Romans 12:9–10

The New Year is often about setting goals—lose weight, eat better, save more, scroll less. But what if this year, instead of resolutions for yourself, you made resolutions to your spouse?

Not the kind that get broken by February, but the kind that build connection, spark joy, and strengthen your shared covenant.

Resolutions, at their core, are promises—firm decisions made after thoughtful consideration. When you make one to your spouse, you’re declaring: “I’m still choosing you—on purpose, with purpose.”

Here are 12 New Year’s resolutions you can make to your spouse—and how to keep them.

1. Share One of Their Interests—For Real.

Join their world. Watch the show, attend the meeting, wear the T-shirt, get the bumper sticker. When you take interest in what excites your spouse, you say, “You matter to me.” New adventures and inside jokes await, plus you’ll have a whole new language of connection.

2. Make That Personality Change They’ve Been Praying For.

You know the one. Maybe it’s your impatience, defensiveness, or procrastination. Don’t just admit it, attack it with a plan. Create a theme, a song, a silly chart, whatever it takes. Humility and humor go a long way in transforming habits.

3. Move Together.

Find a physical activity you can both enjoy—walks, hikes, dance classes, even stretching together before bed. Shared movement builds intimacy and improves your emotional rhythm. When your bodies sync, your hearts often follow.

4. Serve Together.

Choose a mission or ministry to support together. You may serve in different ways, but unified service builds shared purpose. Whether you volunteer in your church, mentor young couples, or give financially to a cause, the act of doing it together becomes the blessing.

5. Create Something for Each Other.

Make something with your own hands or your own creativity. Write a song, paint, record a video, or craft something that says, “I thought of you.” The quality doesn’t matter nearly as much as the thought. Effort speaks volumes.

6. Retire a Repeated Argument.

Every couple has one—that topic that resurfaces like an uninvited guest at every family gathering. Identify it, confront it, and agree to stop rehearsing it. Some issues don’t need another debate; they need a burial.

7. Be Their Biggest Cheerleader.

Encourage your spouse to pursue one of their dreams or ideas, and help remove barriers to make it possible. Pray with them for God’s timing and favor. Hope multiplies when spoken out loud.

8. Dream About the Future Together.

Healthy couples have hope-filled conversations about the future. Discuss where you see your marriage, family, and ministry in five years. Dreaming together doesn’t just cast vision, it deepens unity and inspires gratitude for what’s already here.

9. Share a Memory from Your Childhood.

Don’t limit it to happy ones. Vulnerability builds trust. Sharing parts of your story—especially the tender, imperfect pieces—helps your spouse understand the “why” behind your habits and fears. Every story shared becomes another brick in your foundation.

10. Become a Master Complimenter.

Find something—anything—to affirm every day. Compliment their effort, their smile, their parenting, their leadership, their faith. Words of affirmation are free, yet their impact is priceless.

11. Repent Quickly, Defend Slowly.

Repentance is one of marriage’s most underused healing tools. It disarms defensiveness and paves the way for true understanding. You don’t lose dignity when you repent, you gain clarity and grace.

12. Forgive Freely.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, it means releasing. Sometimes your spouse didn’t mean it, sometimes they did, and sometimes the hurt runs deeper than words can fix. But forgiveness keeps your heart light enough for love to move freely again.

Keeping the Resolutions that Matter

The word resolution means a firm decision. It’s not a whim, it’s a will. It implies a refusal to give up when it’s inconvenient.

So as you set these intentions, don’t trade a firm decision for an easy out. Bring each resolution before God in prayer and fasting. Let Him refine your motives and strengthen your resolve.

When you feel like giving up, remember: these aren’t just promises to your spouse—they’re offerings. Love is a decision long before it’s a feeling. It’s the daily choice to see your spouse the way God does: worthy of grace, patience, and affection, even when they’re not at their best.

That’s the beauty of covenant love, it keeps growing in the new year and every year thereafter.

Fuel & Spark Questions

1. Which of these 12 resolutions most challenges you—and why? What might God be revealing about your heart through that?

2. How would your relationship change if your yearly goals started with us instead of me?

3. Choose one resolution to begin this week and decide what “keeping it” looks like in daily practice.

4. Schedule a “Resolution Review Date” mid-year to celebrate growth and renew your commitment to each other.

Reflection Verse: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

About the Authors

Andrew and Malaika Wells are ministers, marriage and family coaches, and authors of The Hope-Informed Marriage. Through Coupled in Christ, they help couples rebuild trust, deepen faith, and restore intimacy through biblically grounded, practical strategies. Learn more at www.hopeinformedmarriage.com and www.coupledinchrist.com.